Getting honest

How getting honest with myself helped me create a body I love

I had to get real honest with myself about these photos. They were taken after enjoying a swim with a friend. It was a beautiful moment where we connected whilst braving the cold water together. BUT these photos ended up symbolising more than that moment to me.

I noticed the second I saw them I started to criticise my body, I flicked through the various shots, and none of them were as I expected, none of them reflected the body I felt I had worked so hard for.

In fact, it took me two months to show anyone these photos because every time I went to, I still told myself I was not tanned enough, lean enough, curvy enough, strong enough. Although I acknowledged I had come a long way in terms of my self esteem, I could see I still hadn't reached a point of unconditional love for my body. So I looked inward and continued to do the work.

I started to get real honest with myself and when I did, I realised that exercise had long been my means of acceptance and eating low carb had been my way of maintaining control and staying lean. But this wasn’t how I wanted to live my life! The minute I started to enjoy food and relax my lifestyle a little I would become overwhelmed with anxiety and pick at and tease areas of my body for not quite fitting into an ideal I had created for myself.

This ideal did not speak to me anymore. I knew I was more than that. So I took a stand against my 'former self' and decided to create a new ideal; A body that moves, a body that loves, a body that carries me through every day with strength and without pain. This is all I truly want and need...and none of those things involve how lean my torso is or how tight my butt cheeks are!

Without this vital first step - acknowledging something that was truly painful to admit - I would have not made space for personal growth. By getting honest with myself about the conditioning and experiences that had formed my opinions of both myself and my physique and then offering myself compassion, I would not have been able to focus on what it is I really value.

If you want to talk about your body image and take steps towards achieving body acceptance whilst building a life of health and happiness I would love to work with you!